Aggravation City.

Haven't written in quite a few months, but had some inspiration this morning to do so, and figured I'd update everyone on the latest annoyance in my life. 

Okay, so not long after I had gotten my first shipment of dexcom sensors back in June (2011) I had used them all and my FSA account ran out of money. 

I needed to wait until January of the new year for the card to be replenished and I could order more sensors which I had been dying for! Well- not dying, exactly. But close. 

January rolls around. 

Yes! I can order!!

" Hi, I need to place an order for another shipment of Dexcom sensors."

....

"Dexcom?"

"..Yes, Dexcom."

"Okay, your order should be there within 3-5 business days."

"Great! Thank you!"

(shortened version.. but you get the gist.) 

3 days later...

WOO! FedEx man is here with a big box! They're here! Wait.. why is the box so big? It wasn't that big last time..

(Rip, tear, slice with scissors, rip all the packing paper out.)

OH come on! You're kidding me, right? A 3-month supply of Omni pods?! I don't even use Omnipods!

If most of you know, calling the medical supply company back now to try to arrange a way to exchange my order and explain that I need my money reimbursed to my FSA card and yadda yadda,

IS A PAIN IN THE ASS. 

Meanwhile, this process is still ongoing. I shipped the box of omnipods back and mind you, it is now March 3, 2012 and I am still waiting for my money to be put back on the card so then I can RE-order my Dexcom sensors. 

I almost blew my top while on the phone with these people over 10 times now. 

Moral of the story: 

Calling for medical supplies is the most aggravating, torturous event that seems to take place on a monthly basis. 

I don't even want to get into the topic of when their policies change and they tell me that I need my doctor to prove that I need certain things. Especially when I've been using the same things for years now! 

Get a grip. 

I want my medical supplies.

And I want a easier, more efficient way to order them. 

Please.

For all the wrong reasons

For all the wrong reasons.. ^

I can't escape Tom Petty sometimes. 

I originally wanted to get Dexcom because of the middle of the night low's that I wasn't responding to until I was down in the 40's and 30's. Sounds like a valid reason, correct?  I knew ahead of time that I would have to wear a sensor not part of the time, but all of the time. Alright I said, no big deal. Well now... this may sound selfish, or annoying... but I know I'm diabetic, and that I'm I guess " different" but I had gotten rid of Omnipod partially because I wanted to be "normal". 

Whoa.

Anyway, 

I don't need the sensor during the day. I'm pretty aware of what I'm doing and what I'm eating and carb counting and mathematically calculating IC ratio's. 

I'm going to keep the sensor on all the time. And maybe just not take the receiver with me during the day? 

Ugh, I'm such a half-ass diabetic sometimes it drives me nuts and I wish I was completely OK with diabetes taking over my life. 

But I'm not.

So, on we go...

Now that Dex is waking me up in the middle of the night to alert me of possible low blood sugar, it's so aggravating to me because I'm not even at the point of feeling low  like I was before. So in reality this device vibrating and beeping in my bed just reminds me of my cellphone going off in the morning where I hit snooze and roll back over. 

This is terrible. 

I hit " snooze" atleast 5 times last night when it was telling me I was low. 

I was like, shut up you dumb device I don't even feel low and I know you're atleast 20 point off to what my real blood sugar is, so I'm going back to sleep until I get some kind of symptom.

I'm an idiot. And I'm not used to this. I need to get used to this very helpful, expensive piece of technology my parents just opened their wallets for. 

Also, now that I set my "high" to 180 and my "low" to 60.  It's stressing me out when my little 5 minute marker dots start creeping outside the lines! And even more so, when I correct with insulin or drink some juice, and the dots don't move back into range quick enough. 

I'm stressed out. 

Over this little stupid device. And my blood sugars are in-range, for the most part. 

Wowzers. 

I need to wake up and go back to sleep. 

Then find a cure to diabetes so that I don't even have to fathom all this nonsense. 

Or a time machine so I can go back to being a kid before diabetes was even on my worry list. 

How....bogus. 

Is this thing really working?

The nice, friendly, FedEx man showed up at my door step last night with my long awaited Dexcom. However, I was in no rush to put it on. I ate dinner, had ice cream, and then went and walked a fairly long distance of Misquamicut State beach. When I got home around 8:30, I decided then would be a good time to start up the whole Dex process. ( Ma Dukes had been previously charging it for me ) So lone and behold, I sat down in front of my computer with the start up dvd and even though I've probably watched it 5 times through already, I felt it necessary to watch it another 5 times to assure myself that "I could do this". < like that?? ; ) 

Even though I used to have omnipod and spent years tearing the adhesive papers off the back and sticking it somewhere on my body, and struggling to put it in places I couldn't reach, then letting it self-inject like a friggin shot gun... you think I would have gotten used to it? Nope, I used to jump every time as if it were actually a shot gun. I think it was the petrifying TICK! it'd make. In any case,  this Dexcom insertion was the same...but different. I manually had to put this crazy contraption on.  I really should have called to make an appointment for a training.. but I wanted to conquer this stunt myself. So I swabbed clean my stomach with alcohol, let it dry, peeled the papers off, stuck it on, and there i sat holding it awkwardly between my index and middle finger in my left hand, and pinching my very generous belly fat in my right. 

Now, uh... I just push the plunger, r r r ight? I thought to myself.

Why the FACK are you so scared to do this? 

You freakin' inject yourself with insulin 6 times a day. Don't be such a wuss. 

Fine. Fine. OK. Lemme just watch this tutorial 1 more time. Just so I can be sure.

.....I was already sure. I'm just a chicken. 

1...2...3... click click. 

Yo... I did it. That's it. It's in. 

Click Click... Pull collar back.

I DID IT I DID IT.

( in reality, I ran downstairs to my parents bedroom like a child on Christmas Day.) 

and yes I still live at home.

After my tremendous feat, I sat in my room for 2 hours waiting anxiously for Dex to prime so I could calibrate. 

OK. Here my questions lie. 

I understand that Dex is not going to give me on target blood sugar readings, but shouldn't they be ball park? Dex woke me up multiple times last night to tell me my blood sugar was " High" about 250. So, I rolled over, opened my blood sugar meter and checked 3 times to be sure. I was 150! I felt fine and I didn't have a full bladder. I wasn't high. Why was Dex trying to ruin my wonderful night of sleep?

Second, this morning around 5am, Dex starts vibrating telling me that I'm now "Low" 55 and going down. So once again I check. Twice this time because at this point I know my meter is on key.  Both 88 and 86. YO DEX IM NOT LOW. 

Maybe we just need to spend a few more days together and get acclamated. I'm not sure. Or maybe I really should sched an appt with good ol' Diabetes Associates and let them tell me how to do this. 

However, since I've had breakfast this morning and given insulin, my meter blood sugar is 150 and Dex is telling me I've been hovering 107 and stable. No steady increases or decreases. 

I guess I'm okay with that. 

Hate to Love cook-outs

So as you all know, or should-of known, yesterday was Father's Day. I love holidays. ( and my Dad, he's awesome) Of all kinds. This being because no matter how big or small the holiday, my family has some sort of get-together. It has been this way since I was born, and I hope to continue the mass amounts of get-together's when I have my own family. Everyone is so close, and get along great with laughter and yelling ( I'm Italian, we're not really mad at each other). 

In any case, with a cook-out there is obviously food...everywhere. Appetizers, booze, the main course with all sorts of extras, and of course, dessert. HEAVEN to my mouth. HELL to my blood sugar. 

" Hey Ma, how many carbs do you think is in this wonderous dish?" ..."Eh.. how about this sugary, delicious, wonderful lookin' pie?" " Hey Auntie, did you make this?" 

Those are just a sample of my 21 Question game I play as I'm circling around the table picking and choosing which things will probably put me in a comatose state for a few hours if I don't miraculously carb count to the last delicious bite, or if I decide not to bother because I don't feel like it and just stick to meat and veggies. 

WOOHOO.

I absolutely love food. A little too much on most days when I can't just say no. 

I hate carb counting. 

Even more so when I don't know what the heck ingredients went into certain things.

Anyhow, yesterday. I ate and ate and ate. But my blood sugar was constantly low. I purposely gave myself more insulin than I knew I should have. This was/ is probably a dumb idea. But I absolutely didn't want to have a high blood sugar while my family was there. My high's make me quiet, sleepy, moody, and wicked grouchy. That's the last thing I want to display around my family. Though, I know they understand my up's and down's. Still. What a downer. 

That's just what I worry about on days when I don't have my normal food regimen with food packages with the exact carbohydrate count or when I'm making a meal myself and can count ingredients out and do all my crazy diabetic mathematics. 

PS. I'm terrible at normal people math. 

Re-cap of this ramble : I love food. Hate carb counting. Hate being the only one at dinner subconsciously thinking about carbs. Or the result of poor carb-counting, post-dinner. And though, over delivering units of insulin may be wrong, I was way happier with sipping a juice box between courses of our holiday feast, than laying comatose on the couch watching everyone have a great time. 

Today is Monday. 11:30am, Dexcom shall be here HOPFULLY by the end of the day. Wish me luck :)

wittle pancreas-friend likes to cause problem-o's

First off, I need coffee before this day turns disastrous. Secondly , I want to reiterate that I wish my Dexcom showed up yesterday because I'm getting a little frustrated with blood sugars into the 30's before I feel them. Is that scary to anyone else? I mean I've always had low's but I have always felt them before hand while still in the 60's. 

I remember going to camp as a kid when I first started around age 11 and over hearing the older counselors and Dr's speaking about times in diabetics lives when they stop feeling that they're low. And I thought, " How is that even possible?" I always feel so different from the norm that I couldn't even fathom not feeling a low blood sugar.  This was also in my denial days. Not of diabetes as a whole, but of the complications of the future that could put a damper on my life. I wouldn't call not feeling low blood sugars a diabetes complication, or is it? Not per se it isn't. But it is complicated right? It's scary and can happen at the most inconvenient times causing confusion and shakiness and sweating. Well, sounds like a complicated complication if you ask me. And I'm almost 21 years old and I've been drinking more Juicy Juice juiceboxes now, than when I was 5. So please diabetes God please reverse the curse of the absence of low blood sugar feeling. Or just fix my pancreas who has clearly gotten lost on his route of success in life . His? Guessing little pancreas-friend is a boy for today's post.  Or PLEASE Mr.FedEx man, show up on Monday. I beg you. 

Times are changing

I feel like a kid in a candy store... wait. Bad scenario. I feel like a type 1 diabetic in a medical supply store? Ah, haha okay, I'm bad at this. Anyhow, I'm trying to voice that I decided to hop on the blog bandwagon. That sounds like I'm making fun of blogs, (but I'm not). I used to have a livejournal... back in the day, that I wrote in religiously. I'm not sure what happened or why I never created a blog up until now. I know I have a lot to say, but don't always know how to voice it. I'm hoping this will help. But I also don't want to bore you all. I worry that my diabetes stories won't make the cut in the entertainment department. I suppose that isn't the point though. However, there's plenty of you bloggers out there that never seem to disappoint! And I'm worried I can't live up to your witty, comical, relatable? is that not a word? spell check keeps yelling at me       ( I'm using it because this is my blog, after all ) , and enjoyable to read blog entries. 

For the most part, my everyday life usually consists of the same diabetes routine. I suppose that's a good thing. But where's the excitement?! The thrill?! I guess we'll have to wait and see. I tend to have a lot to say when my blood sugar gets a little rowdy.... sounds like when I have a little too much to drink.  Did I just say that? Can I say that? 

In other news, my Dexcom was supposed to be delivered today! Was it? Of course not. The nice Dexcom man on the phone lied right to my ear. I guess I can't be mad at him. I am in high hopes that it shows up on my doorstep by Monday, though. That would be a splendid start to a painfully long work week. Am I complaining already? I apologize. Speaking of Dexcom, does any one know where I can get a colored gel case for the dexcom receiver? I'm sort of a klutz. (and I want to protect it the best I can) Only when it comes to items priced higher than $50. Convenient, I know. Ask me if I've ever sat and squished a pair of $5 sunglasses. Or a cellphone that I've gotten for FREE. Nope, NEVER.  Have I dropped my IdontEvenKnowHowExpensive Omnipod PDM in the toilet? Yessiree. How about my $200 cellphone with no insurance? ... Is that even a serious question Allison? Obviously that managed to get flung out the car window.  

 Summary of this post : I am very excited for my dexcom, klutzified or not, and the FedEx man better be here Monday.

It's just about bedtime... at 10:45pm on a Friday night. Really? Yeah, ask me if I conveniently work Saturday mornings, too.  Yeah... I do.